Well I just finished up writing a paper on a short story by Raymond Carver called ‘The Cathedral’ primarily about a blind man and a raging narcissist. The paper was entirely about asking(then answering) the question of whether or not a person who lacks the ability to see is more disadvantaged that a person who lacks the ability to see anything beyond his/her own skull. It was an interesting question to write about, but it’s another question that brought up here to put up a new entry.

I haven’t really spent much time on the idea yet, but I have honestly been wondering what the world of sex is like for the blind. Specifically, could the fact that a blind person lacks the ability to see enable them to have a ‘purer’(if that’s the word) form of sex than those of us who do. Think about the world around you and how much of it is based on impressions. Think about the world around you and how do you define it? Unless some kind of existentialist garbage is floating in my head and I try to look like I am superior to impressions, I define my world by what I see around me. At this moment, it is defined by the 50 computers or so and the 50 people or so sitting at them typing away at their emails or paper or what have you.

We have five sense available to us, and how do we define the physical world 95 percent of the time? Sight! So what is life like for a person who never once defined reality by what they see. I would like to believe that someone blind also does not define reality merely by what they can’t see. So what’s left? Sound, touch, smell and taste obviously. Smell and taste don’t really enter the equation unless we’re eating someone or are in the midst of a field of flowers. So it’s down to sound and touch.

Think about when you are listening to an extraordinarily deep song. Personally, I think of a song called ‘Raindrops Dance’ by Wave Wizzard. He’s just some obscure internet DJ, but the song is gorgeous. Anyways, have you ever listened to that song with your eyes closed. Is it not a completely different experience than with them open? Instead of listening to a good song while walking down the street or sitting in a chair reading some oddball’s website, your imagination is free to take you wherever it wishes to go. All that exists is your own imagination and the music in your ears to fuel it. It can be a truly transcendent experience. Imagine an hour and twenty minutes worth of music like that, and that’s kind of what I did when I made a cd series last year called Ambient Transcendent. I learned long ago not to listen to that while walking down the street. ::HONK!….’yeah yeah I love you too’:: I did that once while reading a letter too, but that’s another story.

So we can listen to a song and be in that state for what, 5 minutes, a half hour, an hour? Imagine a person whose entire life is defined by that kind of state. That’s kind of what I think it must be like to be blind. The entire world is defined by what they hear and what they can touch. The visual impression so many of us(me included) accept as the most real may be so far from the truth that it may actually be us who are blind and they who truly can see.

This is why I wonder what it must be like to have sex with a blind girl. Now I’m not saying I would go down High Street, spot the first blind girl, walk up to her and go ‘Hey, wanna get jiggy?’. I’m not advocating sex purely out of curiosity by any means. I’m just wondering if the fact that the entire sexual experience for them is defined by what they feel and what they hear means that their experience will always transcend ours. It’s a little saddening if you really think about it.

We’re stuck with a world that ranks attractiveness according to visual cues. To a degree it’s biological yes, but those Calvin Klein ads and Maxim centerfolds don’t just pop out of an oven after a pleasant ding and a God sized voice that calls out ‘Hey humanity, your hotties are done!’. What defines attractiveness to the blind? Voices, smells, ::cough:: taste, and the number one more than likely….touch. Imaging making love to someone whose only idea of you is based on the words you have said in the past, the dreams they share with you for the future, and what they physically feel in the present. The intimacy must be beyond imagination. I know people who like hands, but what if hands were all you knew. That, my dear friends, would be true ecstasy.

-Dan

 

If you wish to hear music that fits this entry, listen to the song ‘Hell’s Bells’ by AC/DC.

Picture obtained from: http://www.chiefbloggingofficer.com/2005_04_24_archive.html

The sharpest talons I have ever known grip my arm on the left

My blood flows freely

 

We know what it is, your heart’s greatest desire

You will never have it, for we will never tire

Your past will always haunt you, and keep you locked in fear

No matter what she says, you’re not getting out of here

 

Ignore her, dear friend, she is pure illusion

She has nothing to offer, acceptance is mere delusion

You strain in vain, dear fool, to break these merry chains

Forever alone shall you be, doomed to lament your pains

 

A shadow of a man, forever your legacy shall be

A shadow of a whole, tortured for all eternity

Stay with us forever, enjoy the dance with Dionysus

In suspension you shall remain, for all eternity you’ll roll with Sisyphus

 

If you wish to hear music that fits this entry, listen to the first song on the cd ‘Celtic Woman’ called Walking In The Air.

Picture obtained from: http://www.angelfire.com/on3/KanesPlace/page2k.html

The softest hands I have ever felt embrace my hand on the right

Our blood glows sweetly

 

I know what it is, your heart’s greatest desire

With me you’ll one day share it, please do not tire

Let your dreams define you, our future is free from fear

No matter what they say, I’ll always be right here

 

Ignore them, my love, they are pure illusion

They have nothing to offer, love is no delusion

Never give up, my heart, you can break these chains

Forever with me you’ll be, flying through all the pains

 

A shadow of a man, your legacy shall never be

The acceptance we will have, peace for all eternity

It is time to find me, Dan, our kids will need the both of us

Surrounded on our wedding day we will be, by the holiest angelic chorus

 

 

 

I Love You,

Dan

 

Chapter One: Gardeners

One day in a forest, it could be any forest, a squirrel was thinking to himself while resting in a tree. “Dude, why do we squirrels always bury acorns, nuts and any other crap that we find on the ground? We can eat more than just that junk, so why do we never try and get more? Wouldn’t it be awesome if some of us decided to bury watermelon seeds or something? That would rock! If I did that, I could get my own watermelon patch. I’d be king of the squirrels! Hell, if we really wanted to, we could all begin to plant our own little gardens. Fruits and vegetables and everything! Some squirrels could make tomatoes, some could make corn, some could make carrots! How cool would that be?? Give it a few years and eventually every squirrel will have forgetten the dark ages when we settled for mere acorns! Acorns! I spit at thee! Ha!! I can see it now! An entire field full of random patches of little farms tended by hundreds of squirrels wearing overalls and farmer’s hats! What a vision!! But no, we squirrels tend to have limited cognitive abilities, thus we are subjected to a life of chittering and our only voice is a theoretical one on some random website. ::sigh::. Such is our lot in life. Well…back to my acorns.” And with that, Nutsy – The Existentialist Squirrel went up his usual tree, into his usual hole, and laid to rest on top of his usual little pile of acorns.

 

First of all this is actually a continuation of the Alito The Hun conversation and a reply to LiquidyFire’s comments at the end there. One of the things that kind of distresses me a little about Xanga is how topics can very quickly be bumped to later pages and then somwhow look ‘old’. I like posting a lot, but hate the way the whole ‘Heaven’ and ‘Heart of Darkness’ type entries look like old news or something. Anyways…this is why I’m starting another post up here.

Ok so first of all, that was an awesome reply Liquidy. I can tell you put a lot of thought and energy into your effort to articulate your beliefs, and it’s appreciated! I’m not sure if ‘Traditional’ was the best term for what I was trying to say, but you described the kind of atmosphere that defines the kind of church I like. It might be the fact that I live on a state college campus, but I do generally get the impression that churches like the kind you described are fading away. I went to some within walking distance to where I live, and they were all progressive. I went to some that required a bus or two, and even when I managed to find one that was focused on the faith of the congregation and felt like a family church – there were so few families! I went to this one baptist church nearby, and it had maybe 50 or 60 people in there. 45 of them had to be elderly. I didn’t attend these churches with the intention of finding a girl or anything, but to be the only one in our age group – it was disappointing to say the least. Going to 15 churches and being able to remember each member of my age group led to some massive essays about the state of religion/church/spirituality.

When I think about a church and it’s purpose, I think of it as kind of a club. People can go to a whole variety of clubs and find one that fits their needs and desires. Maybe there isn’t one perfect fit, but there is more than likely going to be a club to fit each person’s unique beliefs. What bothers me about both Progressive and the giant Evangelical churches is that they don’t seem to be focused on the faith of it’s own members and spiritual matters so much as they are about the world around them. The progressive churches(open door, open heart, open mind) have a wonderful philosophy in my opinion – but a philosophy more designed for an individual than for an entire faith. I think each individual can decide for him or herself what they want to and do not want to believe. I don’t think an individual church can decide the same thing for an entire religion.

I’ll go back to the club analogy. Imagine a new person going to a club and liking some of what it has to say, but not all of it. Instead of deciding to either continue their search for a club that better fits them, they decide to try and change it according to their set beliefs. I think this is what progressive churches are designed to do. They agree with a lot of methodist beliefs, or catholic beliefs, or whatever, but wish to tweak it and still remain catholic or methodist. I have nothing against a church’s united belief, but to try and change religion as a whole simply because they say so is quite arrogant in my opinion. Branch off and form your own church, rebel entirely and form your own religion, but don’t tell a preestablished faith that it’s wrong simply because it doesn’t quite fit!

Then you have the massive evangelical churches. I think their intentions are good at heart, but when they try and change the world to fit their belief system, it disturbs me. Progressive churches are politically minded, but evangelical churches are a political force! A major force to be honest if you see how Karl Rove and President Bush’s political minds went about campaigning last year. They appealed to the out in the country family churches yes, but boy were they going for the big dogs of the Christian faith. The president himself came to World Harvest, which has a nationally telecast service. I went to Grace Bretheren from about 1997 to 2002 and it is along the same lines, though not quite so politically minded.

I guess it really all just comes to how the church deals with the issue of money. Are they using their offerings to bash President Bush and put up rainbows all over the sanctuary? Are they using their offerings to promote President Bush and put his picture up all over the sanctuary? Or perhaps, just perhaps do they use their funds to do church picnics and youth retreats all done solely for furthering each individual’s spiritual walk and offering a sense of community and acceptance.

What do you think about the state of the church?

EDIT: Analogy,  not metaphor.

SECOND EDIT: Alito The Hun, not Metamorphosis.

Steelers 34, Broncos 17. Steelers are on the way to Super Bowl 40 baby!!!

I figure this picture is the only way to capture my current mood. Sara? I’m sorry I didn’t email you today.

 

 Picture from: http://thatinvisiblenobody.blogspirit.com/album/around_me____not_about_me___/cover-sadness.jpg

I have an English class in about 45 minutes and over the past week the required reading was Kafka’s Metamorphosis. I’m not going to give a whole book report similar to ‘Heart of Darkness’ a little bit ago, but it is basically about a man named Gregor who wakes up one day as a dung beetle and whose family reacts to him in a whole variety of ways.

Now I may find that I am wrong in a little bit, but I find it as a metaphor for how a person could be viewed by their family if they undergo a dramatic change. The story is all about a family’s reactions to physical change, but perhaps this could provide a great deal of insight into the reaction to dramatic mental change. Imagine how much you personally have changed over the past few years and imagine if that was somehow represented by a physical change when you woke up tomorrow morning.

Now sure, your family is going to react to internal changes because they will notice that you’ll think, act, perhaps even walk differently than you did before these past few years. But what if that steady realization of ‘Hey, you never used to think like that!’ gave way to ‘Whoa…um you’re a walrus!’ Perhaps your soul would best be represented by a chicken in 2001, and now if you were to change form tomorrow, it would best be represented by an eagle. And by no means does it have to be an animal. Your physical shape could change it’s form into anything, it all depends on the state of your soul. A Rabbit? sure. A Tree? sure. A Teacup? Whatever, but ok sure! Just picture to yourself what you would be if you were to wake up tomorrow and look in the mirror to find that shape looking back at you? How would your family and friends react to seeing you that way? We all try to hide our truths from others and ourselves, but what if we had no choice, it was right there for everyone and anyone to see. Could we remain sane? Would we really want to go back to our previous state?

If nothing else, it’s fun to think about and I can’t wait to toss some of this out there later in that class.

-Shadowrunner81

Sometime in 2008

A girl of about thirteen or fourteen stands in a very intimidating courtroom. She constantly looks over her shoulder to make sure her older sister is there and everytime she sees her sister mouth ‘It’ll be ok’. The girl turns back around to look at the nine black clad adults sitting and conversing amongst themselves. She cannot help but think about the nine black clad ringwraiths from Lord of the Rings. It used to be one of her favorite movies, from a different time, a different place, a different life it seemed like. She looked at the clock to see it read 3:25 and felt it was moving far too slow and far too fast at the same time. ‘At least all the reporters are stuck outside’ she thought to herself. Television crews, despite all their lawyers best efforts, were still not allowed inside the Supreme Court during proceedings. The girl found herself looking at the black clad persons who would hear her case in just a matter of minutes. She thought she should know some of their names, but really hadnt paid much attention during social studies back in 6th grade. Nevertheless her eyes looked at each one and rested on the only one she could remember. Samuel Alito, the one her sister had once called ‘Alito the Hun’. She didnt know too much about him except that he was appointed by President Bush 3 years ago. She knew lots about President Bush and for the first time she found herself getting nervous. ‘Will he try to understand what happened?’ ‘Will he care about what I’ve been through’ ‘Does he really even know my name?’ She asks herself these questions over and over as the seconds tick away. As the clock hits 3:30 only one thought remains within her ‘I’m so scared, please don’t make me keep his baby’.

Up on the bench, Samuel Alito looks down upon the girl and back to his docket report given to him by his clerk. ‘Hmm, 14 years old, troubled family history, began drinking with an older crowd…Ah, so she is pregnant as the result of a rape and wishes to get an abortion without notifying her parents’ He barely looks at the information about the parents, but catches enough to see that they make even him look like a liberal. ‘This case could overturn Roe! I could set the president’s legacy in stone and make myself a legend among Republicans(and especially the conservative base) everywhere!’ He looked once again at the girl and saw that she had begun to shake and was rubbing her elbows. ‘I wonder if she has any clue how instrumental a role she is going to play’.

January 12, 2005:

A bunch of democrats pose for their lobbyists and Samuel Alito evades every answer he can as deftly as an ivy league grad can and still maintain credibility. The fact that Alito nearly always rules in favor of expanding governmental powers is barely mentioned beyond a little James Carville segment on the Today Show. The fact that Alito was the sole vote against a woman filing a sex discrimination suit against Dupont in 1995 is part of a consistent pattern against sticking up for the little guy(or 14 year old girl). The man may not say a word about how he would rule on an abortion case, but his record in every other case where a david is up against a goliath shows where he stands. The confirmation theatrics are almost over, which means the reign of Alito is about to begin.

-Dan(Independent), Ohio: Nay

Hello Everybody! Welcome to the first ever random word of the week! Here’s how it works. Today I give you a word, and you have one week from the exact time this post goes up to use in in the context of a conversation. If you use it while on the phone with a friend, that’s perfectly fine. If you use it here at the site that’s fine. If you use it while walking the dog, that’s fine. Only rule? Use it in a legitimate place ok? And not in this post. If you are a subscriber and it has been one week and no comment is in this thread indicating if and how you used the word, you will then owe me 25 cents. For every time you don’t use a word it will go up. If you have missed 3 words out of 14 tries, you owe me 75 cents! See how fun this can be? Any questions? Just ask.

Here is your very first word of the week:

Quintessential

You have one week from this post’s timestamp to use the word and comment about it here. Have Fun!

gatina_de_esperance: $0.00

LiquidyFire7: $0.00

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