January 25, 2006
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The Adventures of Nutsy, The Existentialist Squirrel
Chapter One: Gardeners
One day in a forest, it could be any forest, a squirrel was thinking to himself while resting in a tree. “Dude, why do we squirrels always bury acorns, nuts and any other crap that we find on the ground? We can eat more than just that junk, so why do we never try and get more? Wouldn’t it be awesome if some of us decided to bury watermelon seeds or something? That would rock! If I did that, I could get my own watermelon patch. I’d be king of the squirrels! Hell, if we really wanted to, we could all begin to plant our own little gardens. Fruits and vegetables and everything! Some squirrels could make tomatoes, some could make corn, some could make carrots! How cool would that be?? Give it a few years and eventually every squirrel will have forgetten the dark ages when we settled for mere acorns! Acorns! I spit at thee! Ha!! I can see it now! An entire field full of random patches of little farms tended by hundreds of squirrels wearing overalls and farmer’s hats! What a vision!! But no, we squirrels tend to have limited cognitive abilities, thus we are subjected to a life of chittering and our only voice is a theoretical one on some random website. ::sigh::. Such is our lot in life. Well…back to my acorns.” And with that, Nutsy – The Existentialist Squirrel went up his usual tree, into his usual hole, and laid to rest on top of his usual little pile of acorns.
Comments (3)
ooh, looks like its eating seaweed. and sounds like humans.
hahahahahahaha… that was amazing, as usual
when it comes to things that come from your brain, hehe. did you miss me? aww, thanks, i missed you too! 
well you just had to be one of those post-almost-every-day-nikki-was-gone type of people, didn’t you? now i have to go and read them all.. dang it! .. ah, well, tis ok… keep your eye out for random comments on the past two weeks posts…
“thus we are subjected to a life of chittering and our only voice is a theoretical one on some random website”
Well it’s a good thing that squirrels are such good underwater swimmers so that they can readily get to all that precious seaweed!
Of course I missed you! Well wait, who are you again? Have you paid your membership fee???