Chapter Two: Groundhog’s Day
Nutsy awoke to the sound of Sonny and Cher blaring into his ears. A quick whap of his tale later and the tree was somewhat quiet again. Nutsy roused himself from the pleasant dream of being the starring squirrel in Ice Age 3, and grumpily hopped onto all fours. It was then that his sense of hearing really began to come into focus and told him that something was going on outside of the tree.
Nutsy poked his head through the nearby hole and thought to himself, “Great, I’ll be those devil worshippers are back again!” Much to his surprise however, the people gathered nearby were not wearing Seattle Seahawk jerseys, but were in fact dressed like ordinary humans. Every so often they would clap and cheer, but mostly they remained quiet while one individual wearing a tuxedo and a top hat spoke through a microphone. The man in the tux stood in front of a small podium and was surrounded by quite a few others dressed equally as nice. “Hey, that human is holding something….something moving!”
Nutsy made his way across some of the branches that stretched from his tree and steadily made his way from tree to tree, ever closer to the pavilion on which the nicely dressed humans stood. Eventually a sign behind them became readable – ‘Punxy Phil!’ it said next to a large picture of a groundhog. Nutsy then realized what it was that was being held in the one human’s arms. A groundhog!
Nutsy made his way to a branch that leaned over the pavilion and found himself not ten feet away from the man with the groundhog. “Hey!’ yelled Nutsy to the groundhog, ‘What’s going on here?” The groundhog looked up and said, “I have no clue! All I know is that the human over there keeps pointing at me saying ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ a bunch of times. The rest is humanspeak and I could care less what it means!” Nutsy was intrigued. “Well if your name isn’t Phil, what is it?” “Sunny!” replied the groundhog. “Well it’s nice to meet you Sunny, how’d you get here?” The groundhog looked at one of the smaller humans and said, “That one there, he jumped out of one of those road-kill machines and picked me up! He got all excited and told the big human over there that he found ‘The New Phil’, whatever the hell that means.”
Nutsy chuckled to himself. Sunny wasn’t quite so amused. “Hey you mind helpin….Whoa!! Ok OK!! Put down the groundhog! Put down….the groundhog!” Nutsy was laughing out loud at the sight of Sunny being waved around like a newborn baby. After the human had brought Sunny back down he looked up at Nutsy and said, “Ok now how about helping me get out of this?” Nutsy shook his head and said, “No way, I learned the hard way not to mess with humans. I once jumped on a farmer’s shoulders to try and tell him that a rabbit was eating up his carrots. Was he grateful? Noooo! He picked me up by my tail and threw me a good fifteen feet before spraying me with his garden hose! Humans give me nightmares.”
Sunny was beside himself with laughter, “No kidding! These humans make the funniest faces when you sca…..No not again!” Up Sunny went into the air, but this time was a little different. Sunny was not quite so shocked this time and noticed that all the humans gathered around were clapping….and cheering too! Sunny was bewildered, but couldn’t help but enjoy the experience.
“Hey Nutsy! They’re clapping for me! I must be their hero or something!” Nutsy laughed and said, “Well did you pull a kid out of a well or something?” Sunny just laughed and yelled out, “I am your hero! Hooray!!”
The human with the microphone rolled out a scroll of some sort and began to prate away about some shadow or another. “Hey Sunny, did you see your shadow?” Sunny shook his head. “Well they said you did and said that means six more weeks of winter!” Sunny looked forlorn, “If I had known I had such power I would have run from my shadow with all my might!” Once more Sunny went into the air and this time he was genuinely yelling, “Hero! Hero! Hero!”
Nutsy was no longer amused. “Hey I think they are taking this seriously. I think they believe that you really can predict the weather. I think you better tell them the truth.” Sunny looked up at him from the human’s outstretched hands, “What truth? Who are they to know? It’ll probably snow next week or something and then they’ll worship me like a god!” “That isn’t cool Sunny.” Sunny was no longer amused, “Who are you to tell me what is right and wrong. Who are you to dictate truth to a hero like me?” Nutsy narrowed his eyes, “You’re no hero. You’re a pretender, becoming a deceiver!”
Sunny began to squirm and make some grunting noises. “Boy he’s really worked up today folks!” said the man with the scroll. “It’s the squirrel!” said one of the children. All of a sudden a rock bounced off the space next to Nutsy. He looked down to see Sunny smiling back at him, “You see, Nutsy, I control the humans now. I am their hero. Do you not see the banner behind me? It says ‘Groundhogs Day’. It’s my day and that’s my picture up there too!”
“I think this is a holiday for the humans, Sunny. I think that they’ve been doing this for years and you just happen to be the latest groundhog. Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc! That picture is not of you, it’s of groundhogs in general. You’re just the next on the list! Groundhogs Day started before you!” Sunny was getting angry. “You lie squirrel! Your voice is filled with jealousy! I am their hero, and I say it is time for you to go!” With that Sunny began to squirm and make his noises some more. The children picked up more rocks and this time did not miss.
He saw the arm of the boy who had connected as it completed it’s follow through. He saw the man with the microphone pointing at him. He saw the other humans all staring at him with blatant disgust. “Kill that squirrel” yelled one woman. “Run him off, Johnny!” yelled one man. As Nutsy fell to the Earth below and epiphany came to him. “They need a hero more than they need truth! If they knew his true background they would all flee and throw themselves into the pit of despair!”
After landing, Nutsy looked up once more to Sunny and yelled, “Sunny! You don’t have to do this! There is another way to help them besides-“ Sunny cut him off, “I am not Sunny, my name is Phil. Punxsutawney Phil. It is time for you to go.” “I will always work against you Sunny! Your falsehoods will not dominate their race forever! They made need the image of a hero to survive, but that does not mean it has to be you. I will find them a real hero, not one who maintains his following through illusions and deceptions! I will always work against you. I do not consider you my enemy Phil, but what you represent, the false impressions of celebrity among men, the false impressions of superiority and domination among citizens, the false idols of hypocritical temples. These I declare my enemy. I declare my war upon you! You will fail in your effort to remain their hero!”
And with that, Nutsy ran back to his tree. The human chorus of, ‘Hero! Hero! Hero!’ began to fade, but Nutsy knew the chants would ring inside of his head for as long as he lived. “Punxsutawney Phil’, Nutsy said once back in his hole, ‘you will lose.”
-Shadowrunner81
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