April 2, 2012
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Schizable(Introduction)
I posted a blog entry a couple weeks ago that I suppose was the first entry in the Schizable series. However this will, more or less, be the introductory post that I will refer to in future entries of Schizable blogs. So consider this a crash course in Schizophrenia.
Welcome to Schizophrenia 101. First I need to say that I am not a doctor of any kind. My familiarity with this illness comes via firsthand experience as a consumer. So the most likely question going through your mind is, “What exactly is Schizophrenia?” I will first tell you what it is not. It does not mean that I, and others on the Schizophrenia spectrum, have multiple personalities. Yes the word ‘Schizophrenia’ is Greek for ‘Split Mind’. That is an entirely different disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder) that you can look up on Wikipedia.
What it means to have Schizophrenia is that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain. One of the more prominent theories is that it is related to an excessive amount of dopamine. I won’t get too technical since I’m not a doctor. But you can look up the technical stuff on your own at a library or Wikipedia. I will say that there is definitely some arguments in the medical community about what actually ‘causes’ the illness. Is it something in nature? Is it related to nurture? I have a feeling that it is something of both. Genetics and environment both contribute to bringing about the illness.
What I believe is that in my case an excessive amount of imagination helped to bring about my illness. I worked on spreadsheets for hours upon hours for days on end at one of my old jobs. While I enjoyed spreadsheets, I still ‘daydreamed’ I suppose for the most part during the day. I would daydream for eight hours a day, five days a week. Combine that imagination with the stress I felt 24/7 from various promotions, and I suppose these two factors, combined with a genetic predisposition, formed the perfect storm and I eventually lost my grip on reality.
How did this happen? I’m not entirely sure, but I know for a fact that one of the things I would daydream about was future conversations that I would have with co-workers, bosses, family, friends, girlfriends, potential girlfriends, etc. I’ve mentioned before that I have difficulty with real life conversations, and I tried to compensate by predicting what others would say and when, and prepare the appropriate reactions to these predictions. This would work on occasion and keep me a step ahead of the game. But over the years I think my predictions tended to stray away from what was really possible and into the realm of the delusional. I, of course, didn’t know the difference and just reacted to these new predictions the same as the old. So there I was, reacting to my fantasies as if they were really happening. I can only imagine how I came off to others. “Why in the world did he say/do that?” Sigh.
And eventually I did realize that something was off with me. I don’t know how it clicked in that something was wrong with me, but it did. I self-admitted to a local hospital and was put on medication. Over time I went to the hospital two more times before I was eventually diagnosed as having Schizophrenia, Paranoid type.
I say all this so that you can understand where I’m coming from when I talk about issues related to my illness in the future. One of the things I must absolutely stress to those who have a mental illness is to always stay on your medications. Preventing a relapse is the absolute key. Going off the meds is the primary reason why many people relapse and have to go back to the hospital. I’ve been lucky in that I recognize this need and have not relapsed since the day I was diagnosed. So stay on your medications! And keep your doctors well informed about what is going on in your life relative to your illness. This goes for any illness, not just one on the Schizophrenia spectrum. These are some of the basic tenets I keep and it may be the difference between having a place to live (home) and ending up homeless like a lot of people on the Schizophrenia spectrum do.
-Shadowrunner81
For More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia
Comments (19)
This was a good intro. I think this is going to be good for many people to read, so thanks for sharing your story and info!
I also think it’s great you mentioned to stay on medications. I, supposedly, have “bipolar” and was in a hospital once for that. I think I recently “relapsed” from that, but have not seen a doc. It’s prob. something I should do. I wondered of those two things were in any way connected.
Either way, this was good and I look forward to your other posts about this! So I’m recing!
Thank you for sharing. I had a friend who recently committed suicide who was also schizophrenic. It’s really unfortunate. A lot of us who knew him say that although he died by his hand, it was schizophrenia that took him.
I think this is a great intro and I can’t wait to read more.
Having a mental illness of any kind can be truly terrifying. In the past I’ve thought about institutionalizing myself, but I never did.
Good for you for recognizing that something was wrong and bettering it.
@Megabyyte - Yeah I have all kinds of topics I’d like to cover so there will be quite a few. But I’ll spread them out as I don’t want to become known only by these posts. Thanks for the rec.
@heythereJOANN - Yeah people with Schizophrenia tend to live like 15 years less due to the high rate of suicide. I agree that it’s the illness, not the person which took their life.
@crazy2love - I got really really lucky that I did. I lived alone so there was no family or significant other to recognize that something was wrong. Me being the one who recognized that something was off may have(and may continue to have in the future) a significant part in my choice to stay on the medications. I recognized something was wrong without help, and so I can stay on my medications without help. Thanks for the rec.
@Shadowrunner81 - No girlfriend? But your shirt says you kissed Kelly. Let’s face it, we’re a tasty lot, right?
Great intro. It’s interesting about the imagination power. Do you hear things or see things ever? Can you tell when it’s real or not? How do you cope, asides from medication?
@Kellsbella - I take it you’re a Kelly? lol
@bambii - I never saw things that weren’t there, but I did hear things. As long as I stay on the meds I know what’s real and what’s not real. Like now I can look back and recognize what was and wasn’t real during 2007(which was the year I endured most of the hallucinations). And I cope by being frank with my doctor.
@Shadowrunner81 - How soon you forget my kisses! That’s it! I’m buyin a tub of Rocky Road and watchin Spanish soap operas! Thanks a lot!
Wow, thank you for sharing your story! I’m in graduate school for psychology and going for my doctorate to become a psychologist so I really appreciate and enjoy reading about first hand experiences and getting a deeper look into what people are going through. My grandmother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia (late onset) when she was in her 60s. She was hearing and seeing things but never asked for help. She unfortunately took her life in 1999.
It sounds like you have a great handle on life and you’re looking at things in a positive manner! Keep it up! That’s awesome : ]
@HelloRoxyy - Thank you so much for your kind comments and the rec. I am sorry about your Grandmother. I really hope that if you become a psychologist that you can prevent any tragedies like hers from happening to anyone else.
Wow, what’s interesting to me is planning the conversations. Thanks for giving us a little glimpse of what it’s like to have Schizophrenia. The only exposure I had was watching “Sybil” – her mom apparently had it. A girl in my sorority told us she has it as well, but I wouldn’t have known if she didn’t tell us.
I have a few questions about your personal symptoms, you do not have to answer as strange as it may sound, mental illness is my passion. Do you see the actually images of people in front of you or is it more based on hearing the voices? Do you have trouble expressing your emotions at appropriate times such as laughing when you should be crying or not being able to show that you are happy or upset in general? There is to much I want to know, I should probably send you a message.
@weirdgirl017 - Yeah I decided to tell people because I want others to be more informed about the illness. What you see on TV and in the Movies(especially older movies) about mental illness is just so wrong. I’m glad your Sorority Sister had the courage to tell you about her illness. It couldn’t have been easy….
@Crying_In_Color - It was/would be all auditory hallucinations. As far as I know, I never saw people who weren’t there like in A Beautiful Mind. And I remember when my Dad told me they were moving out of their dream house I laughed. Also, when I was at a family get together and my little brother was on the way, he apparently got in an accident(nothing serious I found out later), I laughed when my Dad told me. It still upsets me that I can react that way, I just have to hope that my family understands why it happens.
hmm very interesting. I day dream quite a bit and I often imagine responses people would have. When I would pose the question or statement, they often reacted differently so I knew my predictions weren’t always right. thanks for sharing
@MCTCanadian - Not a problem. Thanks for stopping by and reading.