This is just to see if my Shadow81Dan account can get my posts yet. I’ve been dealing with this problem for months. I even tried emailing my posts to that account and it doesn’t work. Anyone have any ideas?

This time I know who is gone. @againstthewind1 and @eagerblue are both gone from my friends list. Did they leave Xanga or just block me or what? If someone could find out that would be appreciated.

So I just got back from my vacation and come to find that I’m down two friends and one subscription. So I gather someone has unfriended me and another has blocked me. Did I miss something?

Tomorrow I head for vacation in the Arctic circle. Just kidding. Only a couple people know where I’m really going so hopefully they don’t tell. But in honor of my faux-Arctic vacation here is a youtube video for you! See you on Friday.

For this Schizable post I am going to cover the myth that people with schizophrenia are violent. I will write my own views on this subject in a second, but first I am going to quote, word for word, from the book “Schizophrenia for Dummies”. This is directly from Chapter 16: Ten Myths about Schizophrenia You Can Forget. Page 311:

“Myth #5: All People with Schizophrenia Are Violent

Unfortunately, the media often sensationalizes stories about people with mental illness who are involved in acts of violence because it makes for catchy headlines, feeding into people’s fears and misunderstandings about the disorder.

Although people with schizophrenia can be unpredictable, they’re more often victims of violent crime than perpetrators of it. This is because they often appear to be frightened and confused, making them look like easy prey for criminals.

When individuals with schizophrenia do commit crimes, they’re usually petty misdemeanors that are an outgrowth of their poverty and despair. For example, a homeless person with schizophrenia might urinate on someone’s lawn because he has no access to a public restroom or may be charged with petty theft for stealing food when he has no money and is hungry.

When serious crimes do occur that involve people with schizophrenia, it’s because their illness is untreated or is aggravated by drug or alcohol abuse. Acutely psychotic patients may have outbursts of aggression: Untreated psychosis – as well as the presence of substance abuse – increases the chances of an individual becoming violent or aggressive in response to voices they hear, feelings of being persecuted or followed by enemies, or feeling of loss of control over impulses. Psychotropic medications reduce the risk of violence as does substance-abuse treatment.”

That is the word for word debunking provided by Jerome Levine, MD. and Irene S. Levine, PhD.

And now for my own perspective on this issue:

Now I will take a more personal turn to the question of whether or not people with Schizophrenia are violent. I will talk about my own experience. The answer to the question of whether I am, or not, violent due to my illness is both yes and no.

When I look back at my personal journal entries from early to mid 2007 I can see when my illness began to set it. A new coworker showed up in April of that year and I believed from the start that they were there to replace me, or at the very least keep tabs on me until a replacement could be found. They were involved in the military and I figured that if they were there to spy on me they must be CIA.

So I never confronted this person about my beliefs, but always made sure I was on guard against any professional snafus that could give them something to report. I suppose I was an excellent worker during April to August of 2007 because of this hyper-vigilance against slip-ups.

Nevertheless, I believed the CIA, and two other organizations only my father and doctors know about, was after me. This feeling of being persued by enemies or persecuted is common among many people diagnosed as having paranoid schizophrenia.

Anyways, so most of the time I just went about my business. But in August of 2007 I was at the height of my untreated illness. Looking back, I do not believe that if my coworker had stood up one day and said, “Dan, I’m from the CIA, come with me please,” during those months that I would have reacted violently. So at this point the answer to the main question would be No.

However, in the final week of August before I called my Mother to have her take me to a hospital the answer may very well have been Yes. This is because almost every single unique belief my mind came up with, my mind believed to be true. This included beliefs about the CIA, the military in general, God, and other people and organizations like the ones I won’t mention from above. The last day before my first hospitalization I believed that I was going to be killed by the CIA. If, and only IF, in those last days while I held onto the belief that my life was in danger someone(not even the coworker) had come up to me and said, “Dan, I’m from the CIA, come with me please,” I might, no would, have defended myself to the death. So there is a Yes to this question as well.

So that’s my story related to this topic. If you have any questions feel free to message me if you don’t want to put it in the comments section. Just know that the more you comment, the more those reading your comments, questions, and my answers will come to understand this illness.

Click Here to see all past entries in the ‘Schizable’ series.

-Shadowrunner81(Dan)

FINALLY! I have a term of some kind for what I am. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyssemia

“Dyssemic persons exhibit difficulties with the acquisition and use of nonverbal cues in interpersonal relationships.”

“Dyssemia is considered a difference rather than a disability; as such, it is not classified as a standard medical condition. Many times dyssemia springs from cultural differences; other times, dyssemia constitutes an offshoot of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). However, the differences can be devastating. Problems associated with dyssemia in the establishment and maintenance of interpersonal relationships are often at the root of people’s social and occupational troubles. Sometimes, persons affected with mild Asperger syndrome or (AS) or social anxiety disorder also struggle with characteristics of dyssemia. Dyssemia can be remediated through a variety of programs designed to assess its presence and alter its adverse impact. Such programs, not unlike acculturation, emphasize virtual and social learning.”

FINALLY!

Okay, time for a mass tagging! Wheeee! @Thatslifekid – @BoulderChristina – @Peridot21 – @xXxlovelylollipop – @eagerblue – @Zissu25 – @heythereJOANN – @ShamrockLover – @specialxplaces – @fabolousclown – @light_blue_fables – Here are the Truths and Lies explained.

1. I love Psychology
I took a handful of psychology classes in college and loved them. Even now I still read psychology textbooks and other literature(like Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman right now!) that has to do with the subject.

2. I love Philosophy
I took more philosophy classes in college than I did psycholgy. I met a great girl named Drewe in Philosophy 305. Perhaps for that reason I still have a penchant for philosophy.

3. I love Theology
I did not take any theology classes in college, but both my father and maternal grandfather are pastors. I would like to engage them on their level someday. That means going for a degree in theology.

4. I love History
Like psychology I took a handful of history classes in college and did really well in both of them. For the past two years I’ve read my old history textbooks cover to cover.

5. I love Sociology
Depending on what kind of teacher you get and what kind of subjects are covered, sociology can be a fascinating subject. I took the 101 class in college and then went on to a 200 level course just to see what it was like. I enjoyed them both.

6. I love Economics
This was my first lie as a couple of you guessed. No I do not like economics, but for my future’s sake I figure I’d better learn something about it! Ugh.

7. I love English
This is my forte. This was the subject I was studying when I was hit with my symptoms of schizophrenia and dropped out of college. I aced every class I took and the only class I dread if I go back is the one on poetry. lol.

8. I want to go back to school(Ohio State) and see if I can get degrees in all of the above.
This one is true. Realistic? Who knows. If you haven’t already figured it out by now, I was a rebel student in college. I never once met with a counselor to determine a ‘direction’. I just went with what I liked at the time. Now I’d like to go back and finish up all those classes I enjoyed so much and put a handful of degrees in my pocket. PLUS! The more I learn the more I can write about.

9. I love Trance Music
Um DUH. http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2F2511E9005BD5EB&feature=mh_lolz

10. I once created three trance/ambient songs
Um YEP. http://www.ctgmusic.com/artist.php?id=4403

11. I can do the log dance, log dance, log dance, I can do the log dance, can you?
Brad is the only one who would have understood this one. This was a thing we did at camp back in the 90′s. People from the various camp sites had to get up and make up a dance to the song. I think mine was kind of like the crane kick from Karate Kid. haha. Fun times.

12. I listen to most of my music on CD’s on an old portable DVD player
Yep. I love my CD’s and make more all the time, and when I listen to them I grab my old mini-DVD player. I’m so retro!

13. I am a Christian
As of August 27th, 2007.

14. I have always been a Christian
This was the second lie that a lot of you picked up on. Before August 27th I believed there was a God, but wanted nothing to do with him.

15. I am dealing with a Xanga bug right now
I was dealing with a bug! I was! I checked my email this morning and yesterday’s entry was in the mail! YES!!!!!! So finally I can post real stuff again.

16. I’m writing a book right now(though it’s on Hiatus)
The Light Warriors is the book I’m writing. And it is on hiatus until late August or early September

17. I have Schizophrenia
This one is true. If you want to know more just message me and we can begin a conversation.

18. I have Social Anxiety Disorder
This one is also true as of last year. 17 and 18 typically go hand in hand apparently.

19. I am a huge sports fan
Um…have you SEEN my pulses? Go Kings! Go Thunder! Go I’ll Have Another!

20. I love the Lord of the Rings
I’ve read the books 9 times. Funnily enough, my little brother just read it for the first time and loved it too. Very cool.

21. I have two younger brothers, 1 older stepbrother, and 1 older Stepsister
This one is true. I am very close with my younger brothers. I am not close at all with my older stepsiblings.

22. I read the Upper Room devotional each morning
This one is true as of about Tuesday. My Mother told me she didn’t have the heart to tell my Grandma that she doesn’t read them anymore, so I said, “I’ll take them. If she asks tell her I read them now.” And I do.

23. I have been on Xanga since 2005
This one is true. Just look at my profile page. I’ve only been active in the larger Xanga community since November of last year, but I had about 180 posts from December of 2005 until August of 2007. That’s how I got my True badge really.

24. I enjoy blogging more than journaling
And finally, this is the third lie. I will never be the blogger some of you are. I’ve written about 20 different times on various subjects in my personal journal over the past couple weeks and none of them made it to my Xanga. I love journaling, though really it’s much more about essaying.

So that’s it. I hope that lets you get to know me just a little bit more. Thanks to whomever started this whole truth and lies idea.

Alright this idea is floating around on Xanga right now so I’ll join in the fun. I will write 21 Truths. And 3 Lies. If someone gets it right I will toss out a mini.

1. I love Psychology

2. I love Philosophy

3. I love Theology

4. I love History

5. I love Sociology

6. I love Economics

7. I love English

8. I want to go back to school(Ohio State) and see if I can get degrees in all of the above.

9. I love Trance Music

10. I once created three trance/ambient songs

11. I can do the log dance, log dance, log dance, I can do the log dance, can you?

12. I listen to most of my music on CD’s on an old portable DVD player

13. I am a Christian

14. I have always been a Christian

15. I am dealing with a Xanga bug right now

16. I’m writing a book right now(though it’s on Hiatus)

17. I have Schizophrenia

18. I have Social Anxiety Disorder

19. I am a huge sports fan

20. I love the Lord of the Rings

21. I have two younger brothers, 1 older stepbrother, and 1 older Stepsister

22. I read the Upper Room devotional each morning

23. I have been on Xanga since 2005

24. I enjoy blogging more than journaling

So that’s it! See if you can get all three lies!

Do you know or know of anybody who was married on this day six years ago? If so, first tell them Happy Anniversary and then second, tell them they are going to hell. Haha.

I’m thinking of a bug. If you can name it you’ll get a mini from me. Good Luck!