This is it. The final week of the regular season is upon us. Last week I went 11-5. My Steelers were knocked out of the playoffs last week, but I’m hoping they can still pull off a .500 record. There are a lot of games with playoff implications so this week could be a wild one!

Bucs
Jets
Ravens
Lions
Titans
Texans
Panthers
Giants
Steelers
Broncos
Packers
Patriots
Raiders
49ers
Seahawks
Redskins

Only two weeks left until the playoffs! Time to put up or shut up. Last week I could have gone 11-5, but I changed my pick from the Redskins to the Browns after finding out RGIII wasn’t going to play. Then Cousins goes and wins. Oh well. So I went 10-6 last week.

Falcons
Saints
Packers
Colts
Dolphins
Chargers
Redskins
Steelers
Bucs
Panthers
Patriots
Texans
Broncos
Bears
Giants
49ers

Tuesday’s CBT session was a breakthrough session. Remember last time I mentioned that the session didn’t do much for me? Well this time it did. I gave my doctor my notebook of short stories from early 2006 up through the summer of 2007(including one false start that was written just before I was admitted to the hospital for the first time). Here are a couple of bombs I’m about to drop on those who are not on my protected post list. I admitted to him that I was sexually abused as a kid. I admitted to him that I identify as asexual, as well. Are the two related? Who knows? He also recommended that I not be so introspective in the future. Whether this is because I truly am too introspective or because I’m reflecting on the therapy without the help of a professional, I don’t know. I’ll just try to stop making my own little breakthroughs without his assistance from now on.

For those who are joining me late, here is a LINK to Part 5.

1. Separation Anxiety. On Saturday evening my family went to a play at our church. Everyone was gone until about 7:20. Normally anywhere from 6 to 7 is when I start to get edgy about whether something has happened. This time though my youngest brother sent me a text around 5:30 letting me know that the play was over and that they were going to get something to eat. That one text was all I needed to ease any possible tension over the next two hours. However, my doctor suggested that next time I not be notified so that I can actually experience the anxiety and prove to myself that I can manage it using the techniques I’ve learned from both him and the Feeling Good Handbook.

2. Dogs. I did not have any experience with dogs over the past two weeks. My doctor and I will be going over the sense of invasion next session though.

3. Weddings. I met with my friend for pizza(he actually picked me up since I don’t drive) and we spent most of the time catching up and really just finding out if the person we each knew on the internet was the same in real life. In my view, he hasn’t changed all that much since high school. I think then, that who he is online is the same as who he is in real life. I can only hope that I was the same person as I am online. His wife was at a musical for the evening so it was just the two of us eating pizza. At some point early next year she will accompany him from what I understand and to that I say that’s a good thing. I will be a little more nervous meeting her than I was him, but I need to face that anxiety. He’s a decent guy so I figure she’s going to be a decent girl and I will simply focus on that. .

@megabyyte @mypublicsite @foodhog @light_blue_fables @isitreal_no @heytherejoann

And congrats to @heytherejoann on graduating college. She is my editor so I kinda hope that I can help her become rich!!!

So two weeks ago I won the week. The last week I went 8-8 and tied for last place. It’s been an up and down kind of year. Just like two weeks ago saw the death of a Chiefs player as the end result of a domestic assault murder suicide, this past week was marred by the tragedy involving the cowboys where one player had a blood alcohol level of .18 and crashed, fatally injuring his teammate. Just like the former was a lesson about domestic abuse, this week is a lesson about drinking and driving. Forget your pride, call a cab.

Eagles
Falcons
Packers
Redskins
Vikings
Dolphins
Saints
Broncos
Texans
Seahawks
Lions
Chargers
Steelers
Raiders
Patriots
Titans

The long awaited prequel trilogy to The Lord of the Rings will see the first of its’ three movies released tomorrow. Here is why I will not be seeing it.

For a long time I loved the movie adaptations by Peter Jackson of JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings books. But then when I began to write a book of my own something strange happened. I could no longer stomach those movies. Why? Because they entirely missed the point and substituted one of its’ own.

The entire point of Tolkien’s masterpiece was to show that the Hobbits could fend off someone as dangerous as the wizard Saruman on their own. The Scouring of the Shire was the integral piece in this effort. Frodo and Sam experienced the One Ring(yes Sam too!) and were able to survive its’ poison. Merry and Pippin joined the armies of Rohan and Gonder, respectively, and were able to contribute big things(like the defeat of the Witch King of Angmar by Merry and the saving of Faramir by Pippin) despite their stature and status in the world.

When Gandalf departs from the four of them before they finally make it back home, he tells them that this(Saruman in the shire) is what they have been training for the entire time. So the fact that the biggest piece to Tolkien’s work was removed for the movies is an absolute travesty to any author who wonders if their own work will one day be treated in a similar fashion one day.

So with this in mind I closely followed the developments of The Hobbit production in the hopes that they (Jackson and company) would not make the same mistake twice. It is a profit making mistake to be sure, but it is still a mistake to ignore the original author’s intent. And so what have I learned? Bilbo will get a fair share of the focus, as is right. But Thorin will get the Aragorn treatment. Apparently you cannot have a movie where the Hobbits are the sole focus. Bilbo, if you read the book, actually leads the dwarves through most of the dangers they find on their way to the Lonely Mountain. But in the movie, Thorin, who does NOT look at all like a dwarf(see the picture at the bottom), will be the focus as leader and future king of Lonely Mountain.

So unless my family comes back from seeing it and says, “Bilbo was 95% of the focus”, I will not see the Hobbit.

Does this look like a dwarf to you??

This is Rascal, my 8 year old Mainecoon. Doesn’t he look regal? He’s my buddy. He comes into my room every night when I go to sleep to spend about five minutes or so cuddling up and getting pet.

This is Skittles, my 10 year old Calico Shorthair. She is a beautiful cat and whenever I go to the back room to listen to music, read, or watch tv…she’s on my lap.

Last week I won the week with the help of being the only one to pick the Chiefs despite the tragedy surrounding that team. Take a moment today to reflect upon the victims of domestic abuse. I heard on a news program following the incident that a full third of female homicide victims know their killer(either boyfriend, husband, or other such partner). Very sad.

Broncos
Rams
Bengals
Browns
Colts
Bears
Steelers
Bucs
Redskins
Falcons
Jaguars
49ers
Saints
Seahawks
Packers
Texans

Tuesday’s session, for the first time, left me more confused than helped. I don’t blame this on my doctor, myself, or even on the process. It just is what it is. I did not bring up Tasha as I had intended to do, because there are more important issues that need to be dealt with. A minor one is how my doctor knew I was going to bring up the sense of being invaded, and the major one was (and will be) the sense of invasion itself.

1. Separation Anxiety – I still have not really had a chance to work on this yet. When I think about it though, the wave of anxiety and negative thoughts feel like an invasion of the mind. When this form of anxiety strikes I no longer feel safe.

2. Dogs – Well I mentioned how I have made progress in terms of being around Leanard when at my brother’s house. I also mentioned how I still need to work on things when he is at my house. My brother and sister in law came over on Saturday to help rake leaves. Leanard came with them. I noticed that while he was outside my anxiety was a 5 out of 100. When he came in (and invaded my safe space) and got in a fight with one cat and scared away the other, the anxiety spiked up to a 75 or 80 out of 100. My thoughts went from, “Here’s a chance to work on the anxiety” to “I want him out of here” and “I have to get out of here”. I did not act on either of these impulses and my doctor commended me on that. Positives out of negatives, right?

3. Weddings – Being more social is something I need to work on. I can’t go from doing nothing except Xanga to surviving a 100 person wedding overnight. So this mean that I will try and get in contact with my old friend from high school and meet him and his wife for pizza or something sometime. He follows this page so he now knows that I’m ready to do this. Still nervous though. Sigh.

And an update about why my stomach was hurting me so much: I sprained an abdominal muscle and so the incredible pain that goes with it was what I was feeling. There is nothing I can do except give it time and rest. No exercise until it heals. I just have to remember to stretch fully before I begin exercising. This kind of injury lingers for about a month so going back to when I hurt it on Black Friday(though not while shopping) that means it will be about Christmas before it’s totally healed. Sigh.

@isitreal_no @foodhog @megabyyte @light_blue_fables @mypublicsite @heytherejoann