December 6, 2012

• CBT (Part 5)

  Tuesday’s session, for the first time, left me more confused than helped. I don’t blame this on my doctor, myself, or even on the process. It just is what it is. I did not bring up Tasha as I had intended to do, because there are more important issues that need to be dealt with. A minor one is how my doctor knew I was going to bring up the sense of being invaded, and the major one was (and will be) the sense of invasion itself.

  1. Separation Anxiety – I still have not really had a chance to work on this yet. When I think about it though, the wave of anxiety and negative thoughts feel like an invasion of the mind. When this form of anxiety strikes I no longer feel safe.

  2. Dogs – Well I mentioned how I have made progress in terms of being around Leanard when at my brother’s house. I also mentioned how I still need to work on things when he is at my house. My brother and sister in law came over on Saturday to help rake leaves. Leanard came with them. I noticed that while he was outside my anxiety was a 5 out of 100. When he came in (and invaded my safe space) and got in a fight with one cat and scared away the other, the anxiety spiked up to a 75 or 80 out of 100. My thoughts went from, “Here’s a chance to work on the anxiety” to “I want him out of here” and “I have to get out of here”. I did not act on either of these impulses and my doctor commended me on that. Positives out of negatives, right?

  3. Weddings – Being more social is something I need to work on. I can’t go from doing nothing except Xanga to surviving a 100 person wedding overnight. So this mean that I will try and get in contact with my old friend from high school and meet him and his wife for pizza or something sometime. He follows this page so he now knows that I’m ready to do this. Still nervous though. Sigh.

  And an update about why my stomach was hurting me so much: I sprained an abdominal muscle and so the incredible pain that goes with it was what I was feeling. There is nothing I can do except give it time and rest. No exercise until it heals. I just have to remember to stretch fully before I begin exercising. This kind of injury lingers for about a month so going back to when I hurt it on Black Friday(though not while shopping) that means it will be about Christmas before it’s totally healed. Sigh.

  @isitreal_no @foodhog @megabyyte @light_blue_fables @mypublicsite @heytherejoann

  • 12:33 pm
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