@TheWeeklyQuestion posted “Best dream you’ve ever had? Can you remember it?”

I sure have had a few best dreams, and I can remember most of them because I write them down.

I do feel as if last night I had my best dream ever. As with all the best dreams, it was a romantic/sexual dream. Now I have had a great many sexual dreams before. I dreamed of being with Britney Spears once in high school. I dreamed of being with Jennifer Lopez once shortly after seeing The Cell with my friend Jon in 2000. To my great humiliation, I will admist that I have even dreamed of being with Paris Hilton.

But last night was not a strictly sexual dream. No, it was far more on the romantic side of things than just sex like the others I mentioned. I remember dreaming about Jennifer Biel at one point during the dream, but for the most part the girls I dreamed about last night were unknown to me. But I didn’t have sex with any of them. It was more like cuddling and some 2nd and 3rd base action than anything else. But the main thing I remember is that whether it was with Jennifer Biel, or other girls, it always occured on a very soft comforter with a few real feather pillows.

When I was dreaming about Britney, JLo, and Paris, I remember a certain awareness that had me thinking, “Yeah baby, sex dream!” This time not so much. It was more along the lines of, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but this is nice.” I also remember coming up to one girl(not Biel) from behind while she was standing and cupping her breasts in my hands and giving her one of those romance novel cover type kisses when she leaned her head back and to the right a little. It didn’t feel like, “Yeah, you’re about to get some honey.” It felt like, “Yeah, someone is attracted to you, and now you know who.” It wasn’t a pervy thing(I don’t think), it was just…nice.

That’s the best I can explain it. I do notice that although the dreams that are sexual in nature only come(wink) once every few years, during the interval they seem to get more and more mature. Britney back in high school was just raw sex. JLo in 2000 was a more intimate and fun kind of sex. Paris Hilton in 2008(if my memory is correct) was more about me comforting her through physical affection. And now last night I didn’t even dream about actual sex, but much of the kind of foreplay that I figure women appreciate in order to later have sex.

This all makes me wonder what will happen in four of five years from now. Could foreplay be better than sex? Hmm.

I must admit that I am getting the hang of the CBT appointments. You could say that my doctor and I have found a groove. I can’t say that I can predict what he is going to ask, but when he does ask certain things, I’m not surprised anymore. I can more or less understand understand the thought processes going on.

Friday we talked about Facebook. I had joined the site under a pseudonym, and in a matter of days got an email saying I might know these three people. One was Brad, one was an ex from 2005 named Meg, and the last was my stepmother. How in the world, with a false name and just my shadow81dan email, did the powers at be at Facebook bring together three people from such different parts of my life? I, and my therapist agreed, found it incredibly creepy. I have since deactivated the account and consider myself done with Facebook.

Before I go on to my three main goals, if you would like to catch up HERE is a link to part 9. In there I go a little more in depth as to what Cognitive Behavior Therapy actually does. I would recommend reading it to anyone who is thinking about getting therapy themselves.

Goal #1: Separation Anxiety. I don’t get to work on this one as often as I would like. It is just entirely too unpredictable a situation to be able to plan for in advance. I suppose the best thing would be for it to happen without me knowing it is going to happen. But the next time I am alone later on at night I have the positive experience from two weeks ago to draw upon for support.

Goal #2: Dogs. I have not even seen Leanard since the last session or two, so I did not get to work on this one. I do want to mention that I don’t feel tense when dogs of any kind are around anymore. On the anxiety scale I mentioned in part 9, I would say that around part 1 my anxiety would have been an 85 out of 100. Now it’s about a 15 out of 100. Much improved, no?

Goal #3: Social Anxiety(or Social Phobia). I had dinner with Brad last weekend. That was a lot of fun. I really do like that little hole in the wall pizza place we go to. Good food, good company, and hot waitresses. We talked about old classmates from high school for the most part. I thought it was really nice to hear what everyone we used to know has been up to. One of the topics that came up was the idea of the 15 year high school reunion. Has it really been that long? 2000 I suppose. Wow. So the reunion would take place in 2015. That will likely take place before any potential weddings so perhaps it would be worth it to go? Just a blip on the radar for now. The other thing that happened is that Brad gave me the majority of the Star Wars cards he collected back in the late 90′s like the kind that my brother and I played with a couple weeks ago. My brother was actually home this weekend, and late Friday we took some time to go through the Cloud City cards. I had already told him(my brother) that I would keep the light side cards and he would keep the dark side cards. I think he was as excited to be getting some cards of his own and not have to rely upon mine all the time when we play games. The only downside? He beat me twice. Oh well. Can’t win em all, eh San Fransisco?

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