Okay so I have a situation involving someone I’ve known for a while now. He/She is married and has been for a long time. But I overheard her/him say, “I love you” to someone other than his/her husband/wife on the phone. I was two feet away and she/he was aware of my presence, but despite that he/she went ahead like nothing had happened. Needless to say, my hackles have been raised. The person to whom they said these words has some history with the alleged cheater in the form of having expressed feelings to the cheater many years ago.

What do you think? Any and all input would be very helpful.

I pretty much think that if Xanga only has a few weeks left, that there are no topics more important than this one. I don’t plan on saving anything from my blog. But this one I will make sure to keep a copy of just in case I need it one day.

I would be remiss as a Christian not to give fair warning to my friends about this. Believe me, this is something that you need to take the time to read.

http://www.whatdoesitmean.com/index1392.htm

I know it’s scary to think about, but before too long every individual alive, Christian or non-Christian, will have to make a choice to get the Mark. For my part, I choose death rather than the Mark. Seeing certain things in the USA Today about technological advances, seeing the articles posted on the netscape.com newsreel, it’s downright frightening how fast technology has come. But don’t take it from me, read the book I have above. Read the article there. Go and scan the web and see what kind of technological advances are coming. Find out for yourselves whether there is any truth to what you are being warned about. But most of all, Jesus Christ is the only way, the only truth, and the only way to life. He is the way out of this scary situation.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

It’s so simple but so powerful at the same time. If you have any questions at all about what it is like to walk the Christian life, feel free to ask below or send a PM. If you send a PM do not worry about whether it will remain between you and me as it will. I just hope it goes from being between you and me to being between you and Christ.

EDIT: I think I will refresh this every day to maximize the potential for it to be seen.

After news last night of Xanga possibly/maybe/likely shutting down on July 15th, I thought I’d take a cue from a friend and provide my email address so that if you want to stay in touch you can. Feel free to leave yours in the comment section and I’ll save it.

Shadow81Dan@netscape.net

Okay so @thetheologianscafe began this last night and @shamrocklover posted to continue the trend just a short time ago. So I thought I’d jump on board and find out what word you would use to describe me. Go!

Yeah Buddy!

I have my big idea. It has been bubbling beneath the surface ever since I started thinking of a follow up idea to my Light Warrior novel. I’ve mentioned before that The Light Warriors was my attempt at being the next Timothy Zahn and try to start a Final Fantasy Expanded Universe similar to Zahn’s Star Wars Expanded Universe. Well I don’t think that’s good enough for me anymore. I don’t want to build upon someone else’s universe. I want to create my own.

So yeah, all I can really say at this point is that the writing project I wish to do will be a massive, massive undertaking. I’m a year and a half in to The Light Warriors and am just about half way through(17 chapters). The project I am thinking about will take far longer and require all of my efforts of concentration to complete. I’ve blogged every once in a while about the current project mainly because it’s nice to get feedback and update people on the progress I’ve been making. But this new one is going to be very hush hush as I’m a tad paranoid that someone will be a literary version of Thomas Edison will steal my idea and get all the credit for it. I’m not even sure I will put it on my cloud drives or email accounts for safe keeping simply because they are all monitored by somebody. This is not some regular book, I have honestly never heard of this kind of thing being done so I really can’t elaborate too much. It’s not that I don’t trust you guys, it’s just that I don’t trust the internet. My only hope is that with my weight and cholesterol continuing to improve that I can now live long enough to see these projects come to fruition. Thanks to all of you for your support over the past year or so and for your continued support even when my future pulses just say, “Project 2, Chapter 1 complete,” etc etc. Haha. Go Penguins!

Thanks to David J. Garrow and his book about Martin Luther King Jr. for inadvertently supplying the idea.

You know, I am honestly just plain tired of my cognitive behavior therapy sessions. I know it’s been a while since I talked about them, but the past few have left me feeling very very negative. My next appointment is Thursday morning and I am planning on letting my doctor know that I am done with them. For those of you who can’t recall, they started out with the purpose of helping me get over my issues with dogs, separation anxiety and social anxiety.

Dogs? I still don’t want them around, but if they it’s not a big deal.

Separation Anxiety? I just plain do not get a chance to work on this enough to justify going week or biweekly. My next opportunity isn’t until July 1st and that will be an overload of four to five days by myself. When you need to learn how to swim, jumping off the 30 foot high dive isn’t exactly the best idea.

Social Anxiety? When my Uncle died a couple months ago I saw firsthand what would be required of me at a funeral. Right now weddings and funerals are out. But you know what I’ve learned through my CBT? It’s that not wanting to go to weddings does not make me a bad person. There is no such thing as a bad person. Others might see me that way(Ahem, family), but I can’t control their perception. I can only control my own. So I no longer feel so guilty about not going to my brother’s wedding in 2011 and am no longer worried about not going to my other brother’s wedding whenever that comes around.

But you know what does worry me? The fact that my therapist and I have been on a tangent for the past month or so about me expressing anger. When I was abused as a kid, I figured it would be too embarassing to talk about so I kept it in. When my Dad left my family in the mid 90′s I was deeply deeply angry at him and his girlfriend/fiancee/wife but when I showed even a hint of anger at him, he basically told me I was wrong. Not misguided, wrong. I wasn’t allowed to express anger at him. That divorce threw my Mom into a deep depression and being deeply sensitive myself I never felt like I could get angry at her because her emotional state wasn’t her fault. Being that dumb kid I was I took my anger out on inantimate things like lego’s or would swear up a storm at a friend’s house(Sorry Brad). I just had all this anger inside of me and no one to turn to. It sucked.

Well I feel like the older I got the less and less likely it was for me to express anger. Instead I use my sense of humor as a defense mechanism. Rather than get angry at my family for parroting the latest political talking points, I’ll just make a joke, get a laugh, and then move on. I don’t know how to do anything else.

And I’m not sure I want to know how to do anything else. You’ve seen me post hearts scores? As happy as I get at perfect scores and high winning percentages, I get equally angry when the cards don’t go my way. I usually play by myself and get furious at bad moves by the other players. Well now that fury is carrying over into other areas of my life. I’m finding all kinds of reasons to be mad at my Dad, Mom, Brothers and sister in law and potential sister in law, stepmother, friends, potential girlfriends and all kinds of other people from various walks of life.

I don’t want to become an angry, bitter and/or hostile person overflowing with negativity. I liked who I was before last month. Now I don’t. So I plan to talk about this with my therapist and tell him that Thursday will be my final session.

I woke up this morning and was having major chests pains. My family history is full of heart attacks. So that was the first thing on my mind as it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Ended up going to a local hospital and going through a barrage of tests to find out what it was. EKG came back fine. Blood tests came back fine. CT Scan came back fine. The Doc figures that I’ve torn a muscle in my chest and that with enough Ibuprofen concentrated over the next ten days that I will be fine. This trip is going to drain my bank account but I’m so glad it wasn’t a heart attack, or even something as painful as pleurisy like I had in 2008.

In the end the worst thing that happened was that my Mother had to deal with my Dad and Stepmother for a few hours while I had my tests done. I know her endurance is tested(and mine too when those three are near each other) around them.

Just an update on what happened this morning for me. Blah.

Turn On:

White

Turn On:

Black

Turn On:

Indian

Turn On:

Latina

Turn On:

Asian(Kumiko from karate Kid 2)

Turn On:

Biracial

Turn On:

Orion

Turn On:

Navi

Turn Off:

Anything to do with Anthony Weiner, if you get my drift.

There you have it. Go Buckeyes!